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Post by Aimee Reynolds on Jul 15, 2006 15:31:33 GMT -5
Aimee had woken up early, before the sun had even rose, and sat on the roof outside her window and watched it rise. Cove was laying in her lap, and she was petting him absently. He always seemed to know when she was hurting, and she couldn't be more grateful to have him there for her. She had been crying again, but she knew it was all her fault. She had jumped to conclusions, and she hadn't even thought when she kissed Adam.
She wiped her tears away angrily, sick of crying. Why couldn't she suck it up? She had to face it. She had fucked it all up with Alex. He hated her now, and she couldn't blame him. Once breakfast had started, she climbed back inside and dressed in a baggier t-shirt and a loose pair of jeans. She wasn't in the mood to dress up today. She brushed her hair, not caring that it spilled down her back straight. It didn't matter today.
She left Cove on her bed, promising to come back, and headed downstairs. She ran into Matt in the common room, and he didn't question her appearance. They walked down to breakfast together, and she told him what had happened. He nodded, understanding. Things like that were reasons he never got into relationships. He had commitment issues, and he was afraid she would hurt him.
They sat down at the Intermise table together, already friends. She wasn't smiling, though, and he all but force-fed her. He saw her as a little sister to him, and he wanted to protect her from whatever was hurting her or threatening her. She ate only when he threatened to force it down her throat if she didn't, and she stared gloomily at her plate. He ate beside her, looking around the hall. He just prayed Alex wouldn't show up. He really didn't want to see her cry anymore...
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Post by Alexander Aindrea on Jul 16, 2006 0:54:33 GMT -5
Well, sorry, Matt, - and just about everyone else in the hall - Alex had decided to turn up for breakfast that morning.
He had slept in the hard chair by his desk all night, avoiding the bed because that stupidly reminded him of her. Countless times he had told himself to stop being pathetic, but he still ended up in the chair for the night. When the sun rose, he dragged himself up, stretching and groaning slightly because of the pain in his back.
The Lioano had pulled on a pair of jeans and a white tee-shirt, remembering to grab a jacket for the journey through the Ice Pass, and reached the hall sometime later, slamming in it and muttering, "Damn snow..." to nobody in particular. He sat at the bottom of the Lioano table, in the last seat. Adam was there, further up, but Alex refused to look at him.
He didn't bother to look for Aimee; hadn't she told him that she didn't have breakfast, or something? Oh, who cared. It wouldn't make any difference, anyway. She wouldn't speak to him. He didn't even know if he'd want her too.
It was too damn early in the morning.
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Post by Aimee Reynolds on Jul 16, 2006 18:39:25 GMT -5
Aimee looked at Matt helplessly, and he raised his eyebrows at her. "You're going to eat, or else I'm going to forcefeed you. Now, I rather like my clothes, and I would prefer not to have them ruined, and I would hate to have to get food all over you." He smiled at her sweetly, and she shot a glare at him. She grudgingly began to eat a piece of bacon. She wasn't hungry; she just wanted to go throw up. Eating this was like trying to eat puke.
She happened to look up just at the time that Alex walked in. She immediately looked down at her plate, biting her lip, hard, to not allow herself to cry. It began to bleed, and she swore loudly, getting a few looks from girls at the Lioano table beside her own. She couldn't stop one tear from sliding down her cheek, seeing as he never looked for her, and she wiped it away furiously. She had screwed things up. She had no reason to be hurting.
She started to leave, but Matt forced her back into her seat. "No, Aimee. You're not leaving until that plate is completely clean. And that requires you actually, physically chewing and swallowing the food." She glared at him and sat back down, trying to force herself to eat the rest of the bacon. She still had biscuits and gravy and scrambled eggs to eat, not to mention the toast. Her eyes had filled with tears, blurring her vision, but she refused to let them fall anymore. She didnt deserve to cry, afterall...
{{The loud swearing should get his attention, along with the girls who looked around. They'll be giggling and dogging the clothes she's wearing... xP I wasn't sure how else to put it, because she won't just walk over there to him... And Matt saying 'Aimee' should grab his attention, too. xD}}
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Post by Alexander Aindrea on Jul 17, 2006 1:03:16 GMT -5
Alex wasn't eating. He didn't quite know why he'd come to breakfast, if he could be honest, but now he was in there, he was staying in there. Ice Pass was too nasty of a place to go back and forth through constantly. He had a goblet of tea in front of him, however, as most of the teachers jumped at the chance to send you out of the hall to make space for other students if you weren't obviously eating or drinking something.
He suddenly heard an explosion of swearing from a table up ahead, which was followed by some giggling and a few people pretending to tut. Lifting his gray eyes from the tea very slightly, he stared in the direction of the Intermise table. He didn't manage to find the culprit, and his gaze must have missed Aimee, for his expression remained cold and bored.
Alexander took a sip of tea, immediately coughing on the hot liquid, almost spitting it back out over the table. He swallowed it, though, choking slightly and wishing that he hadn't. It tasted disgusting.
Then he heard her name. Who was that saying it? His head snapped back up. Aimee... Aimee... It's not her, is it? It was. She was sitting, plate full of food, listening to a familiar-looking guy talk to her. Oh yeah, from where Alex was sitting, she hardly looked bothered about their break up. No, she looked just fine. Alex's eyes narrowed slightly. Yeah. Fine.
{He needs glasses if he can't see her sad-nosity! But he can't. xD}
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Post by Aimee Reynolds on Jul 17, 2006 11:53:30 GMT -5
She noticed Alex looking over here, but he didn't make any move to come. She nearly choked on her biscuit and gravy, gagging slightly. Matt looked at her and sighed. "Aimee, you can't let him get to you like that... I know you're hurting, but come on. You can't let yourself go like you are..." He shook his head slightly, looking up to find Alex. He just watched him for a moment, not glaring, just watching. He sighed and got up.
He walked over to the Lioano table and bent down next to Alex. Might as well do this since Aimee wasn't going to. Aimee's eyes had widened, and she shook her head at him, but he just looked at her for a moment before looking back at Alex. "Look, I know what happened between you and Aimee... I just want to say that however bad you might feel about it, she feels twenty times worse. She knows she made a mistake, and she won't even eat. She didn't even sleep last night for very long, and instead she sat out on the roof..."
He looked over at her, already seeing the tears starting again. She angrily wiped them away, however, and lowered her head so no one would see, letting her hair fall in front of her face. "She didn't even take pride in her appearance today. She came down to the common room in a baggy t-shirt, baggy jeans, and her hair was straight." He shook his head slightly and said softly,"I can't even get her to smile, and it's hard enough to stop her from crying. She's trying to suck it up, but it's not working... All I have to say is if you're going to let this come between you two, maybe you're not worth her time afterall..."
He straightened up and walked away, leaving Alex to ponder that little speech. He sat down next to Aimee and said,"You need to eat. If you don't, you're going to be sick and throw up..." She looked up at him, and he saw the tears. "I already have thrown up..." she whispered. "Three times..." She grabbed the fork and started to scoop up a bit of biscuits and gravy, but her hand was shaking too much. She instead moved it around the plate, not hungry, and set it down, staring at the floor. Matt sighed and gave up, watching Alex to see what he would do, if anything...
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Post by Alexander Aindrea on Jul 17, 2006 14:11:04 GMT -5
Hearing footsteps near him, Alex moved his eyes to his right. It was him. The guy sitting next to Aimee. Damn, where had Alex seen him? He looked so familiar... Alex rather hoped that Matt - not that he remembered his name - wasn't there to make him angry. He was just too freaking tired.
"Look, I know what happened between you and Aimee... I just want to say that however bad you might feel about it, she feels twenty times worse." Oops. Too late. Alex's eye's narrowed, and he turned his head roughly in Matt's direction, and hissed,
"Don't you dare compare my feelings to hers! You think she feels worse? You think she feels worse?! I think that it just takes common sense to figure out that the guy that saw his girlfriend kissing someone else - after finding out that she didn't trust him enough in the first place to get his side of the story when she jumped to stupid conclusions - would actually be in much more pain than the person that did the kissing. Hard to believe, huh? Nah, you'd never guess."
He stared angrily at the Intermise, before continuing quietly. "You want me to help her? Give her comfort? Aww, sorry. Why don't you just call on my best friend Adam?" He glanced down the table, and Adam looked up at the sound of his name. "He's much better at 'comforting' the ladies than I am, obviously. Comforted half the girls I've had since I came to the school."
"Fuck, you think I look like I could win any contests with my appearance?" He asked, annoyed, at the last part of Matt's speech. "In case you couldn't have guessed, I didn't sleep like a baby last night, either." His face suddenly flushed red, and he had to fight himself not to give Matt a hard shove backward. "Not worth her time?! Let's see how you'd cope seeing your mate kissing your girlfriend. I sure as hell wouldn't be giving you this lecture! I can't- I don't- Oh fuck it..." He stuttered, trying to get all of his words out at once, before deciding that he just couldn't be bothered. God, he was tired. Sick of everything.
"Look. I can't stand messengers." Alex gestured at Matt. "Cowards send messengers. She wants to fix things, she talks to me herself. Merlin, don't tell me she's scared. I'm violent, but I wouldn't lay a finger on her. What guy does she think I am?!"
He watched Matt leave, leaving him to ponder that little reply.
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Post by Aimee Reynolds on Jul 17, 2006 17:51:36 GMT -5
Before he left, Matt looked at Alex calmly. Inside, his mind was raging. How dare he say those things! He was calm, though, and his voice reflected that, though his jaw was clenching and unclenching. "I don't date. Ever. It's just one of the things about me that people will have to learn to deal with. Things like this is just one of the reasons I refuse to date. Because mistakes happen, and then it becomes a blame game."
He shook his head and said,"She didn't send me, Alex. She didn't come over here herself because she's not over you. Believe it or not, she feels guilty enough that she won't even let herself cry. She says she doesn't deserve to, that she fucked things up so badly..." He sighed and said,"Whatever. I'm just trying to help a friend here. Next time, I'll let you be miserable, as I can see you are. If you really care about her so much, you would understand how this happened, and you wouldn't be in this situation..." He had turned and walked back to Aimee then, not listening to anything Alex had said.
Aimee had seen Alex gesturing angrily, and as Matt sat down, she whispered,"You shouldn't have done that... He's already pissed at me, and I don't want him to be pissed at you, too..." She stared at her plate, clutching the fork in her hand tightly. She was eerily calm as she whispered,"I was a fucking idiot..." Her voice rose in volume as she continued,"I let myself believe that he was going to do the same thing... But what was I supposed to think? He hadn't pushed her away. It tore me apart, and I didn't stop to think..."
She flung the fork down onto the plate and got to her feet, receiving a startled look from Matt. She walked over to Alex, tapped him on the shoulder, and said,"Sorry won't cut it, will it? Well, it's all I can say. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. For God's sake, Alex, I love you!!" The last part was nearly screamed, and when she realized what she had said, she froze, eyes widened. She hadn't meant to tell him that. Oh God. The last time she had said that to a guy, he ended up in bed with her best friend and roommate. She saw Matt staring at her, and she bit her lip, hard enough to make it bleed, before she turned and ran. She couldn't take this... She ran into the hallway, stopping once she was down it a ways. She was freezing, but she didn't have a jacket. She slid down the wall behind a large plant and pulled her knees up to her chest, laying her head on her knees. Her hair fell forward to hide her face, and she rocked back and forth, letting the tears fall fast and hard.
She loved him... God. What had she done?
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Post by Alexander Aindrea on Jul 18, 2006 1:03:42 GMT -5
Alexander listened to Matt speak, but the Intermise turned before he could get any more words in. "Hey- Wait- I- Fine." He must have looked pretty comic, gesturing after Matt and trying to get him to turn around and listen.
In case you didn't guess: It didn't work.
Alex watched him arrive back at the table and sit down, watching Aimee's lips move quickly as she spoke. He turned his head back down to his tea, taking a sip of the cooled liquid, and happened to miss Aimee getting to her feet. He felt a tap on his shoulder, and closed his eyes in annoyance, thinking, who the hell is THIS? He turned around, his face a clear, sarcastic expression that clearly said, 'How can I help you this morning?'
"Sorry won't cut it, will it?"
His expression changed, gray eyes blinking a couple of times in surprise. Her voice was pretty loud, and a large group of people were watching them, after Alex's whispered argument with Matt. He made to say something sharp back, but froze in mid-'why the hell did you do it, then?'. What had she just said? She loved him? She ran out, and he looked around himself again, very tempted to bellow, "NOTHING TO SEE HERE! GET BACK TO YOUR BREAKFASTS!" but made to with hissing, "What the heck are YOU looking at?" down the table in Adam's direction.
Then he whispered, "Shit..." And flew from the bench, stumbling slightly as he grasped the door handle, and yanked the door open, racing out into the hall. "Aimee? Aimee?" Hey, for all he knew she could have been gone by now. And, you want to know the reason he went after her? Let's just say that things were a little different than they were three minutes ago.
{Bleh.}
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Post by Aimee Reynolds on Jul 18, 2006 9:22:01 GMT -5
Aimee heard footsteps in the hallway, hearing her name being called. Alex had followed her out here. She wasn't sure what to do, but she wasn't sure she could face him right now. But if she didn't, what was going to happen? She had lost him, and she knew it, but why had he followed her? Did he want to hear her say the words and then push her away anyways? Did he want to break her heart even more?
No... That wasn't the Alex she had known... He would never do that, but why did he follow her now? Why was he interested now? Now that he knew she loved him, he suddenly became more interested. Well, that was convenient, but she knew it was her fault to begin with. She tried to stop the tears from falling, but she failed, and she knew she had to tell him where she was at some point.
When he was nearly on top of her hiding place, she managed to whisper just loud enough for him to hear,"I'm over here..." Her voice was small, fragile, but she couldn't help it. She wasn't exactly strong, and right now, she just wanted to go back to before. Go back to that day and replay everything that had happened. She should have went with him into the club, but she hadn't. She raised her head to look up at him, trying to wipe away all of the tears. She tucked her hair behind her ears, and she instead stared at the floor. She was ready for him to yell and scream at her. She would take it. Afterall, she deserved so much worse...
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Post by Alexander Aindrea on Jul 18, 2006 10:34:00 GMT -5
It was just as Alex gave up, turning to leave, telling himself that it was fine, he'd see her around, that he heard her murmured response. He spun around, pulling away a few leave from a large potted plant.
There she sat, curled up on the cold floor, legs pulled up to her chest, crying. The sight of her made Alexander understand what Matt had been talking about with her feelings just a little bit better. He stepped in front of her, eyes full of confusion, and spoke.
"What did- What did you say when- You love me?" He ran a hand through his hair, and began stuttering again. Damn those words, fighting each other to all get out first... "I- I can't- Oh, I don't know..." Once again, he gave up, staring at her in an almost pleading way to give him some way of working everything out, making it make sense.
All the fight had gone out of him, and he honestly looked deflated, and absolutely exhausted, standing there in the freezing passageway.
{More bleh. O.o}
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Post by Aimee Reynolds on Jul 18, 2006 10:43:09 GMT -5
She didn't look at him as she said it, not being able to. It just hurt to much to know she had screwed everything up with him. "I love you..." It was barely more than a whisper, and it was obvious that it took everything she had to say those words. She stared at the blurred ground, not letting her tears fall any more. It didn't do her any good, and it just showed how weak she really was.
"Somehow, Alex, I fell in love with you..." She shook her head slightly as she said,"And I wasn't supposed to..." She bit her lip slightly as she said softly,"I promised myself I would never love another guy after the last time... He was my first for many things. My first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first time... He was it, and I loved him. It took a while for me to say it, and after I did, I found him having sex with my best friend -- my roommate -- in my bed."
She continued to stare at the floor as she said even softer,"Then you came along, and you were different than the others. I trusted you, and I know I made a mistake. It was just something I had come to expect, guys cheating on me, and so I ran, because I couldn't take it again. With Adam, I know I made a huge mistake, and I'm not sure why I did it... All I know is I wasn't thinking at all that entire time, I was just so scared of losing you, and then before I knew it, I had kissed him..."
One tear escaped her eyes and slid down her cheek. She wiped it away angrily and said,"I felt so horrible, Alex. I had hurt you, and that killed me. I ran because I realized that I loved you, and I almost said it that very day..." She closed her eyes tight and whispered,"You can yell at me all you want, Alex. I deserve it... But it won't change the fact that I love you..." Another tear slid down her cheek as she breathed,"Nothing will..."
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Post by Alexander Aindrea on Jul 18, 2006 11:15:42 GMT -5
Wow. He had never had that said to him before. Well he had, but it was never serious, and none of those times really mattered, in a sense. He was still slightly confused, but sure that this wasn't a surprise. She wasn't about to jump up and shout 'April Fool!'. Hell, if she was then she was a bloody good actress.
Alex listened to her speak, eyes softening very slightly with each word. Their stories weren't that different. The girl he had been with had been just like Aimee. She had persuaded him to be her boyfriend, and he believed she was different. But she had cheated. With Adam. Alex supposed that when he had seen Aimee kissing Adam, he had jumped to conclusions himself. He was sure that their relationship had been going on for ages behind his back, but he still believed her when she told him that it hadn't.
Perhaps one of the reasons that he had been so angry was that he needed someone to blame. Adam wasn't enough, for he had already caused enough pain, and Alex had forgiven him one time before, for the same thing.
Alexander sighed, and said quietly, "There was no way you were going to lose me. I was... amazed by you. You were different, and I liked you a lot. There was only one way you would risk losing me, and you did it." He resisted adding a sarcastic, 'well done' on the end of that. "But once again, you've shocked me with the size of your heart. Amazed me. You know, your mate was right. You are hurting a considerable amount more than I am. But... I don't know. I'm still... looking to... I don't know, blame someone. I was really, really mad at you, but seeing you like this makes me- Not. It makes me want to stop all the pain, and just l- like you again, be with you again. But I don't know..."
He crouched down in front of Aimee. "I'm not going to yell at you. I'm... calmer. I'm not mad at before. You've sucked all the anger out of me at the sight of your tears and tossed it away."
{I HATE this post. >=(}
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Post by Aimee Reynolds on Jul 18, 2006 11:31:29 GMT -5
It took all the courage and strength she had to look up at him as she spoke. She was forcing herself not to cry anymore. That could be done later, in her room, once she'd received a good yelling or chewing out or something. Yet, surprisingly, it didn't come... She was slightly surprised, and she was still a little dazed by the events of the past few days.
When he crouched down in front of her, she just looked into his eyes, feeling completely horrible at what she hadn't stopped herself from doing. She had always told herself she would never let that happen to someone she loved, and she had let Alex down. She closed her eyes for a moment, getting a grip on her emotions.
She wasn't sure what to say, but she had to say something. "God, I'm so sorry, Alex... I hate seeing you hurt, and knowing that I even put us into that situation in the beginning, it makes me feel even worse, because I know I could have prevented it..." She looked down at her knees. "If I had been stronger, maybe all of this wouldn't have happened..."
She took a deep breath and said softly,"But it did, and we can't change that..." She forced herself to look up at him, looking into his eyes. She would never forgive herself for hurting him. "All I know right now is I hate all of this... I hate not being with you, but most of all, I hate that I hurt you..." She resisted the urge to touch him, because she wasn't sure how he was feeling, or how he would react, so she left her arms wrapped around her knees.
"I just wish this whole mess hadn't happened, because it's separated us. I should have trusted you more when I saw you with that girl, but I didn't even stop to think. All I could think was she was going to take you away from me, and I couldn't stand there and watch any more... I didn't see it from beginning to end, so I must have come just after she kissed you..." She shook her head slightly and said,"I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." She looked back up at him, into his eyes, hoping he would see she was telling the truth. "I didn't kiss Adam for revenge... I don't know why I did, but I do know that it didn't mean anything to me... There were no sparks, no giddy feelings, just silence and emptiness..."
She looked down the hall as she continued,"I guess I lost my head for a minute, and I just acted without thinking..." She looked back at him. "God, I wish I could go back and stop myself from doing that, but I can't... I can't change things, Alex, as much as I want to..." She took a deep breath again and said,"I just hope you can forgive me, because losing you hurts... It hurts more than seeing my best friend in bed with my boyfriend..." She closed her eyes and lowered her head. "If you don't want me back, I'll understand... But I wanted you to know the truth, and that I will always love you... Always."
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