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Post by Adam McElroy on Nov 4, 2006 13:13:36 GMT -5
Do you believe in God? Adam sure didn’t. ‘Cause, man, whoever the hell was watching over this school and its residents was doing a damn shitty job. Attacks? Heartbreak? Murder? Yeah, Guardian angels: well done, you did fabulous job. Not.
The non-believer, in fact, was voicing his opinions loudly to any ‘Gods’ that were up above at that very minute, his angry, distinctly slurred voice echoing around the silent, dark grounds of Beauxbatons Academy. It had got to be past one in the morning, so the boy’s grassy surroundings were empty apart from himself, lying slumped against a tightly clipped hedge, the sharp twigs and small leaves scratching at his cheeks and clothes and pulling at his blonde hair.
Adam was so drunk he could barely remember his own name, age or house, but there were plenty of things he could remember. Bad things, things that he didn’t want to remember, like people being tortured, people screaming and bleeding and dying.
Those things ran through his head like a video, replaying everything he’d seen on that awful night when Lioano common room had been attacked. He went in to help his friend, the world went black, and the next thing he knew, he was in the Hospital Wing, listening to the cries of the injured and the people watching them lose their lives to their cuts and gashes, their red blood spilling onto the immaculate white tiles… And he had left the next morning, just to get away from it all.
The images made the Lioano lad clutch at his head with an agitated cry of his own. The pain from the headache he had was pulsing through his whole body, and it almost made him scream with frustration and hurt. Wasn’t alcohol meant to numb you? Wasn’t that why he drank so much of it? Well, it wasn’t working! This last part made him even angrier, and he screamed it out, still clinging to his head with both hands.
“WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING!?”
What a pathetic sight he was. The pain had lessened, and he fell forward from the hedge onto the grass rolling onto his back and staring up at what of the starry sky that he could see. A couple of warm, salty tears escaped his blue eyes, and he muttered almost silent apologies to everyone he had hurt in the past months, unaware that they couldn’t hear him- or maybe he knew they couldn’t. Maybe he was so wracked with shame over things he’d done that this was the only way he thought he could clear his conscience.
Nobody would ever know.
Soon, his own sobs and whispered words died away, and all he could hear was his own inconsistent breathing, his face stiff from the dried tears, eyes red and stinging. The sounds of he breathing, and the cold wind that carried the sounds away into the night, were all that disturbed The Courtyard.
{I’m so sorry I suck. *freaks out* I tried so hard, but I still hate this post. Plus, I’m major depressed now…} |
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Post by Charlie Sonata on Nov 4, 2006 14:33:56 GMT -5
Charlie was a mess. Since she'd been discharged from the Hospital Wing. She'd been nothing but a quivering, crying wreck. The tears would come and go, and she could no longer sleep in her old room, no longer face the darkness either. She didn't sleep, she didn't eat, or talk, or anything. All she did was drink and cry.
Part of her, as she strolled miserably through the sombre dark maze of hedge that made up the outer part of the courtyard, screamed about how much of a fool she was. She'd written off August, forgotten all about her. She'd poured all her affection onto one person, and now....now that one person was gone. Dead. Murdered. And by who? By Charlie's own sister. That was what really stung, what really got to her. How could someone hate another person so much? Their own sister, to hate them so much that they feel the need to take away almost everything she valued in one foul swipe? Her best friend, her security, her confidence, all snatched away...
Blinding tears swarmed up again, spilling down her ashen cheeks. A hot surge of anger boiled up with them, and she sweeped them away roughly with the sleeves of her dark grey jumper, which was sizes too big for her slender frame. Recently, as she'd stopped eat, Charlie was looking thinner that ever. She clenched her jaw as she felt the sobs tear at her dry throat. She wouldn't let it all start again. She had to try and be strong, like before.
"I'm fucking tired of tears! I won't...I won't..." Charlies hissed, hands balling into fists as she squeezed her green eyes shut. Her voice grew louder, "I WON'T CRY ANY MORE!"
When she opened her eyes, she relised that she was on her knees, fingers digging into the soil. Hot tears dripped off her chin, and fell like glistening diamonds to be lost in the wild tangles of blonde hair that had fallen across her face. She could taste them, warm and salty, on her lips, and she sighed. It was going to be another long night.
It was cold, but she didn't care. Her fingers were numb as Charlie brushed the dirt from he knees of her black skinny jeans. She felt stiff and jerky as she took a few uncertain steps forward, almost stumbling. Her breath was laboured, though she didn't know why. Charlie felt light headed, and a little dizzed. Her head throbbed unpleasantly, and her whole body tingled with a buzzing fatigue. Her footsteps thudded heavily as she started to run, tears positively streaming down her saddened face as she sprinted towards the moon-lit patch of open ground ahead. Her whole body trembled, threatening to just give up and collapse.
When she did come to a shaky stop, it took her a long moment to finally relise what she was seeing. Her breath caught in her throat. It was Adam - poor, sweet, warm Adam, lying on his back, lying all alone. He'd been there, and he'd seen it all. He'd know what it was like. He'd know.
"Adam," the words tumbled off her numbed trembling lips, and she took a step forward, but she hesitated. Did he really know? Did he really care? |
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Post by Adam McElroy on Nov 4, 2006 15:20:46 GMT -5
The Courtyard was still quiet, apart from the distant bangs of Muggle fireworks, when Adam thought vaguely what day it was. The fourth of November; happy fucking birthday, Adam McElroy, happy birthday.
The far off cries of Charlie reached his ears, but he just groaned and clutched at his head again, sure they were just the previous memories coming back again, sure that that horrible pain would course through him again any second. It didn’t strike him that Charlie could actually be out in the grounds with him, but, then again, why would it? He was hardly expecting to see her, was he?
No.
The girl’s voice reached his ears again, but this time, it was closer. She murmured something… what was that? His name? Yes, yes, his name… Adam. Who was it? Charlie, it was Charlie. Charlie Sonata. What was she doing here?
Groaning again, Adam tried to get up, but only proceeded in clumsily swinging his body around in order to see Charlie better, head spinning. He grabbed the grass and squinted, as if it were hard to see through his headache. It probably was, but he still managed to recognize the female Lioano, and said quietly, voice hoarse, slurred and scratchy,
“C-Charlie?” His bloodshot eyes narrowed, eyebrows coming together to form such a saddened, pitiful expression. He pulled himself up properly into a messy sitting position, leaning back against a marble bench and trying not to cry or puke up his guts; which was proving quite a difficult task, actually.
Adam tried to form more words, but his mouth didn’t seem to let him, and he just ended up coughing, dry throat beginning to sting unpleasantly. Finally, he managed to get out in a final tone, along with a wave of the arms, “Charlie.” |
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Post by Charlie Sonata on Nov 4, 2006 15:36:21 GMT -5
Sight impaired by yet more tears, Charlie almost ran towards Adam, feeling unexplainably glad to see him again. She fell to her knees, before him, letting her emerald eyes wander over his pained, unhappy face. The attack...it had it him pretty hard. It was clear he'd been drinking, and heavily at that. Charlie reconed that he'd maybe been drinking even more than she had, and she was surprised to see that him being like that made her feel even more upset.
"You look...pretty rough," she murmered, wanting to smile, or laugh, or anything that might have made it seem like old times, like the night they spent togather with stupid conversation and too much schnapps. But the look in his eyes, and the pain in her chest told her that it was never really going to be the same, or at least not in the forseeable future. |
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Post by Adam McElroy on Nov 4, 2006 15:57:38 GMT -5
Adam stared up at her wearily as she came closer, and wordlessly shook his head, before croaking out, “Don’t, Charlie, don’t; ‘s cold.” But she was kneeling in front him anyway, surveying him and looking pitiful, like she felt sorry. He shook his head again, still unable to get out much more than a couple of coughs, and dry-heaved to the side, narrowly avoiding emptying his stomach all over the grass.
After a couple of minutes of silence, in which Adam tried to overcome the nausea, Charlie spoke softly, and Adam eventually replied quietly. “Thanks. So do you.” He gave her the smallest of smiles, just for the sake of reassurance, his own eyes taking in her appearance. She looked thin, too thin. Maybe – probably – it was the drink, but she almost looked see through in the pale face. |
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Post by Charlie Sonata on Nov 4, 2006 16:06:44 GMT -5
Charlie turned her face away, eyes staring down at the ground before her gaze flickered back to him. She was right. He was pretty sick. Come to think of it, so was she.
"Well..." she began quietly, like they were whispering in a library, even though there was no one near, "I think we have every right to. And...I'm pretty sure were have a...an understanding of each other's...suffering."
Charlie was struggling to find words that fitted, that didn't sound patronizing, or weak. But was what she said true? She couldn't remember seeing him that night. Did he lose someone? Did he know about...know about Felicia? Just thinking about her, just thinking that name made Charlie's heart lurch. It made her relise, once more, just how alone she truely was. |
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Post by Adam McElroy on Nov 4, 2006 18:50:24 GMT -5
"You do," Adam replied softly. "I' just being a prat. You've been through more than I have. I was fricking knocked out while my attack went on, and your friend..." He trailed off, making a face. He remembered the Hospital Wing once more with a grimace. Shaking his head, eyes closed, he went on quietly, "And then I left. I just left. And here I am now, a cowardly loser, no better than before." He fell back against the bench again, dizziness back, it seemed, to stay.
Adam hadn't lost anyone; at least, no one that he knew of so far. He hadn't visited Alex, he hadn't even checked to see if his sister's houses had been attacked. Even though he did care, the thought of them thinking he didn't made him ashamed to see them, thus making him feel even more sorry for himself- if that made any sense whatsoever. Well, he understood it in his own mind, and since he wasn't telling anybody, that was good enough.
{I just rambled on a bit. Oh well. xD Oh, and sorry if there's spelling mistakes; spell checks acting up.} |
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Post by Charlie Sonata on Nov 4, 2006 19:01:18 GMT -5
Charlie was quick to disagree with Adam.
"I think that anyone who was there that night...who saw what we saw - what you saw..." she trailed off, finding it harder and harder to talk about it because her throat felt tight and sore, "Adam, why do you not like yourself? Everytime we talk, you always say something bad about yourself...You're not a coward, and you're not a prat..."
Once more Charlie trailed off, and silence quickly decended. Every cell in her body was screaming for sleep and rest, but the whole series of events was still swirling round and round in her head. Pain, screaming, blackness, blood...Over, and over. She clamped her eyes shut again as though that would block out what she could see, but, of course, it made no difference. |
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Post by Adam McElroy on Nov 4, 2006 19:11:05 GMT -5
Adam frowned, but laughed again anyway in a sarcastic fashion, before coughing again. He began to speak again in his hoarse voice, still stinging and distincively slurred. "Why don't I like myself?" Another nasty, sarcastic laugh. "Seriously, what's there to like? You've spent enough time with me that I thought you'd've figured that out by now. I thought that's why I hadn't seen you in such a long time; that you'd finally started to see me from my point of view."
Adam stopped talking, eyes trained on the ground to the left of him. When he looked back up again, Charlie, still in front of him, had her eyes closed. He blinked his own, and brushed her cheek with his fingers, whispering, "I've tried that, Charlie; you can't block it out, can you? The sounds, the images, the pain... it won't go." |
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Post by Charlie Sonata on Nov 4, 2006 19:24:40 GMT -5
But I like you....?
Charlie, eyes still pressed tightly shut, could feel fresh tears spill down her cheeks, but when Adam's fingers brushed her cold skin, she flinched, and her hand shot up to catch his hand, to hold it in hers. Her eyes opened wide, and she looked understandably scared and upset. Her heart gave another tremendous tug, and a tiny sob escaped her lips. She managed to hold it together for another few seconds, before she broke down, and flung herself at Adam, burying her face in his shoulder, and crying helplessly.
"It won't go away," she repeated weakly, "It won't go away..." |
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Post by Adam McElroy on Nov 4, 2006 19:48:19 GMT -5
The sudden squeeze of his hand made Adam jump, and his blue eyes caught Charlie's green ones, hers sparkling with unshed tears just waiting to fall, his blinking rapidly and trying to keep his own tears back. He caught her and wrapped his arms around he when she finally broke down, sobbing into his shoulder, and kissed her head, burying his face in her soft blonde hair. "I know," he whispered, letting his own tears finally fall once more. "I know it won't. Not yet. I know..." |
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Post by Charlie Sonata on Nov 5, 2006 7:25:42 GMT -5
Charlie's slender fingers tightened on the black cloth of Adam's shirt as she gritted her teeth against the emotional onslaught that seemed to come and go, draining her of what little will to fight she had left.
"I'm such a fool," she murmered, tilting her head to she side so Adam would not see her cry, "I should have seen this coming. I was happy, wasn't I? I should have seen it coming. And now...now look what's happened! She's dead...they're all dead. I so stupid to think She'd ever let me be happy. I put all my eggs in one damn basket...No friends, no family, no certain future...I should have seen it coming..." |
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Post by Adam McElroy on Nov 5, 2006 8:13:21 GMT -5
Adam looked down at wat he could see of her - basically hair, as she'd turned her face away from him - when she gripped his shirt and began to mutter sadly. "Charlie, listen to me," he said, shaking his head, eyes closed for a moment. "How could you have seen it coming? It didn't happen in spite of your happiness." He frowned, listening to her quiet speech again for a moment. "Who's 'she'?" he asked, confused even further.
{Bleh. Short and crap again. Dx} |
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