Uncontrollable;// OPEN

[Ashlei Soudai]

Four Days Ago

"She's waking." The eyelids fluttered on the pale girls face, opening to show her brown doe eyes confused and scared. The sudden shreik that came from her as a first noise made the boy beside her jump a mile in the air. "Ashlei, Ashlei!! Ashlei stop screaming!!" Kai said, holding down her arms as she thrashed in the bed. Tears ran down his eyes, as his sister convulsed and shreiked. "Why, why Ash...stop...please stop..."

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T....IT HURTS...STOP....It hurts...." She winded down, starting to sob quietly, Kai had let go and back into his chair. Ashlei lay sobbing into her pillow, her whole body shaking. Strawberry blonde hair matted and dirty looking from lack of showers. She had been in a coma for a week, and had finally woken. It was supposed to be joyous, instead Kai saw something dark in his sisters eyes, and something injuring her far deeper then just the attack. He could see it. She wasn't physically damaged anymore, but the mental damage lie deeper and more painful.


Ashlei lay stretched across the couch near the window, her one arm hanging off the edge and knuckles grazing the ground. She was sleeping peacefully. After the coma she often felt tired and quickley, she would lie down somewhere when she felt like this. A sadness seemed to mark circles under her eyes, and made the corners of her mouth point downward. The truth was, she had been afraid to visit any of her friends. They were all guys, and she was afraid of them. Even her brother, she would tell the other girls of the dorm to tell them she was sleeping, or she was in the washroom, or she was out somewhere. She would duck behind tapastries or corners if she saw them coming down one of the halls.

Her peaceful body suddenly contorted, jerking in at odd angles and convulsing. Shaking uncontrollably, and her eyes fluttered as she made moans and shreiks behind closed lips, as if someone had glued them together. She fell from the couch, hitting the ground she screamed. Brown eyes flying open as she relived her nightmare in the library, she sobbed and bit down onto her wrist as she tried to stop herself from making anymore noises. She sat up, and curled into a ball. Her back against the couch, she pulled herself inward. Fingers wrung themselves together as she tried to calm down. The nightmares kept coming, whenever she tried to sleep, she could still feel him...between her legs and inside her. Ash let her head fall to her knees as she sobbed into them, her body shaking with sobs instead of spasms.

[Aimee Reynolds]

Aimee found herself a little nervous as she walked into the library. She had changed, that was certain, and not for the better. During the attack, she had been kidnapped and taken to God knows where. They did things to her there, things that she hadn't even told Alex, but he'd known they'd hurt her far more than he could comprehend. He also knew that she would tell him when she was ready and not a moment sooner. Her clothing choice was much more... conservative than before. Not to say that she dressed slutty before, but she wasn't above showing a little skin here and there. It was just the way she was, but right now, she was so far from it that it was astonishing. Many people hadn't recognized her...

She'd been gone a week after the attack, and she'd returned after being left for dead at the front gates, a message carved into her skin. Oh, and to add insult to injury, they'd kept her clothes, so she'd been freezing, bleeding, and unconscious. She'd just got out of the hospital wing, and she was dressed in a baggy pair of jeans with a pair of tennis shoes on her sock-covered feet. A t-shirt was on her torso, a lot looser than she remembered but she was glad for it, and a knitted jacket was over that. It wasn't thick, but it fell to her knees and buttoned in the front. Her shirt was a pale pink color, faded and worn, and the jacket was a deeper shade of pink, also faded and worn. There was no jewelry or makeup to be seen, and her hair fell loosely past her shoulders, straight and less glossy than usual.

She just needed a book to work on some homework, that was all. Then she would be back in her dormitory alone, since Faith was probably with Jon right now. Her roommate was now blind, the results of a curse-gone-wrong, but it was only temporary; she would be okay. That didn't stop her for apologizing, for telling Aimee how sorry she was she couldn't help her. Faith was apologizing, and it wasn't even her fault, which Aimee had reassured her time and time again. Of course, they never let her spend nights alone in her room. Either Aly or Faith were there every night, even when she asked them to leave, but she never let them hear her when she cried in the middle of the night. She just couldn't face it...

Then she heard a scream and a thump, and she peered around a corner. She'd pulled her hair back now into a messy bun, hair sticking out of it and falling to frame her face in a messy look. She noticed Ashlei Soudai, only from a few meetings and seeing her around the common room. She walked over to her and squatted down beside her, not touching her. She knew what had happened, and she knew how she felt when people touched her now. She knew about the nightmares, about the feelings and the memories. And God, did she know about the disgust and the pain of knowing what had been done to you. Yes, she'd been raped, and in a week's time, on multiple occasions. She'd also been tortured and sliced up. Most of the scars were gone, but one remained on her wrist, a carving that she kept hidden.

"A-Ashlei?" she whispered, looking at the girl with worry. She still didn't touch her, didn't dare. She felt tears well up in her eyes, but she bit her lip to hold them back. It hurt her to see others like this. Going through it herself was one thing, but seeing someone else going through it was an entirely different matter, and she hated it. She just wanted to take their pain away, erase the memories, or just change the events. "Hey... I'm not going to ask if you're okay... Because I know you're never okay... But is there anything I can do? If... If you need to talk... I'm here..." She trailed off, struggling to find the words and force them out. She really didn't know what to say; how could she help someone else when she couldn't even help herself?