Back To The Beginning {{Emerald, please!}}

[Matthew Jerrolds]

[[January 25th]]


Matt was feeling a little odd today. He had learned of what had happened to Emerald, and he didn't like it. Not one single bit. Although he had to say he much preferred it not being his good friend Adam, but that didn't make it okay. He had told Adam... How could he not? He didn't have Jon around anymore... He felt his throat tighten. Things weren't looking good for his best friend. It had been an entire month, and there was no change. If anything, he was getting worse. Matt squeezed his eyes closed tightly, lowering his head as he stood at the edge of the water. He was dressed simply today in a pair of dark blue jeans held up by a black belt with silver-rimmed holes, black converses, a dark gray t-shirt with a skull in a top-hat on with an Ace of Hearts tucked under the ribbon design, and a black jacket with thin gray stripes.

His hands were in his pockets, and his sleeve on his left hand just barely revealed his bracelet that he always wore. He swallowed, trying to get his mind off of that. The wind picked up, blowing into his face and hair, but still he didn't move. Things were moving fast now... He was lost. He just couldn't keep up, and now more than ever he wanted to be with Emerald for every single second of every day. He couldn't bear to see her get hurt or anything. It would kill him. He didn't even want to leave her, but he had just come from the hospital wing. His teeth clenched together, and they began to grit against himself as his jaw worked, trying to keep himself calm. It wasn't working too well. He then raised his hand, letting his blue eyes appear once more to stare ahead.

Those eyes were swimming with emotions. There was complete bliss from the now-known fact that Emerald Darcy loved him and he her, but there was also fear of losing her. There was crippling sorrow at having his best friend teetering on the edge of death, but there was a glimmer of hope that maybe he could pull through and things would be better. At least Alyssa couldn't get to him there... There was worry over his friend, tied in with anger at what had happened. His eyes glared their indignance at this to the angry clouds above that were rolling in, covering the blue sky and the bright sun. Shadows began to cover the world, and he felt himself both happy that it would storm and annoyed. He didn't feel like getting soaked, but he loved the storms and the rain. And it seemed just as confused and lost as he as it tumbled about above, switching directions...

His thoughts turned to his step-sister. He had received the owl. His... Now his head turned, looking at the ground. His lips tightened before parting as he spit on the earth, breathing in afterwards. They hadn't taken it well... And what was worse was that they blamed him for everything. If it hadn't have been for him, she never would have went there. She would still be alive. If he hadn't been so stupid, he could have saved her. He was a useless excuse for a human being, yada yada yada. It was the same stuff, different version. He had grown used to hearing it, but now? Now he didn't care. In fact, he had sent a reply to tell them that he was leaving. He was leaving them, moving out. He wasn't going to return. Ever. He didn't need them anymore... And if he did, he would turn to his friends rather than them. Never again...

He sighed. He had found a house for a small price near the school, and he had bought it. With the money they made at Shaded Nights, he had plenty left, and Adam agreed that he'd help pay if he could room with him. Matt didn't mind. This was their home for the holidays, so to speak. And if when Jon needed a home close to the school for when he graduated, then they would gladly offer, and even Cal could move in. It was agreed. The four boys were close, and the events that had unfolded just made them grow closer. He had caught Adam and Cal visiting Jon, and it tugged at his heart. They were all lost without him... He had always been the clear-headed one, the caring one. When there was a fight, he mediated. He was the one that held them all together... And now they were falling apart.

Cal was the worst right now. He was still shaken, and he was more reserved than ever. He hardly spoke, even to Adam, but they knew he didn't blame him. Adam, however, blamed himself. Matt knew... Matt knew his friend was a Death Eater, but he also knew that he had been young and stupid... And he was trapped. He couldn't leave, and they had a tight hold on him. It was terrible, and it was stressing his friend to the brink of insanity. He was so close... So close to a breakdown. It scared Matt. Completely and utterly terrified him. The thought of seeing Adam MacKeltar lose his cool? It just didn't happen, but he was seeing it now. It was happening, and it was happening fast. He wasn't sure when -- or even where -- but it was going to happen, and he hoped that he could be there for his friend.

He hadn't seen Aimee around much, but he knew she was spending as much time with Alex as he was with Emerald and even in his visits to see Jon. He saw Faith all the time, always trying to be strong with tears in her eyes. It broke his heart every time. They had grown close in that time. She was like his little sister... Well, the one that liked him, at least. He knew that her boyfriend would take care of her, though. He seemed like a great guy. When Faith left, Matt was always in tears. She was so young... She shouldn't have to deal with things like this. Not ever. She was so innocent and pure. She was like a beacon of hope when everything else was going wrong, and he wanted to protect her, shield her from everything. But he couldn't. Not even Jon could protect her from everything...

Then his thoughts turned to Emerald. This place held memories. It was where they first met. At this, a small smile twitched at the edge of his lips, but it was faint. Too much had happened. He was happy with her, but right now... Right now he needed to think, he needed to grieve and sort his thoughts. Then he would be ready. Then he would be ready to move on with his life... His life with Emerald. Because he fully intended to have a life with her. Valentine's Day was coming up, and he already had a reservation at the nice restaurant in Paris. It was beautiful, really, and he had a reservation for Valentine's Day, which took some time for him to snag. All the couples... But he had, and he was going to take her. Roses, chocolates, teddy bears... Whatever she liked. But the big surprise was what was for dessert...


((Okay, Katie, bring 'er on in! xD))

[Charlotte Darcy]

"Emerald, you gotta tell me about thi-"

SLAM.

The door to the dining hall slammed behind Emerald and she rushed away from it as fast as she could. Lareina had finally got a hold of her, a few minutes ago, and proceeded to drill her about 'what the hell was the matter'. Damn. Not wanting to have had to deal with this, the Fina had bolted from her seat, leaving half the food on her plate and slamming the door in her - following - half-sister's face. Rude, yes, and Emerald wondered at times who the heck she was turning into, but she really hadn't wanted to go through everything that was on her mind at that particular moment in time, when she had been completely happy minutes before, looking forward to meeting Mattie at the waterfall.

She just didn't need it right then, you know? Just let the girl be happy for a moment or two, for God's sake.

Matt didn't like what had happened to her, huh? Well, you wouldn't think he would, really. Emerald honestly hated the professor - whether he had been drugged up on pills or not, it didn't actually matter to her, contrary to what you might believe - had done, and for one of the strangest reasons. It wasn't all because he had hurt her where - well, worse than - no one ever had before. It wasn't all because he had made her feel dirty, made her feel that no matter how hard she scrubbed she couldn't get his touch off her. A large portion of the hate was because she didn't feel like she was just Matt's anymore.

Before the rape, she had been so happy with her boyfriend. He was her first and her only, and she hadn't intended anyone else to do to her what he did. But then MacKeltar had come in and just... just... wrecked it all. Just thinking about it made her eyes burn with tears and her body burn with anger. Matt had been her first, yes, but not her 'only'. And she hated that the one thing she had wanted, and had been sure that it would happen - which was for him to be her only, yes - had been snatched out of reach. Hell, it was impossible to ever, ever get it back, now, damn it all.

She tried to not allow herself to dwell on it, but it was like one of those nightmares that kept playing back to you over and over again every time you fell asleep. It just kept coming back, and it was awful. But she tried not to let herself cry anymore; at least, to not cry in front of people. Any people, and that included family and Matt. She didn't want to appear so weak when they seemed to be coping so well when their worlds were coming apart at the seams. It would just be plain selfish if she kept feeling sorry for and thinking about herself all the time, like she had been doing before, right?

Right.

Emerald's feet took her to the waterfall, where she hoped Matt was. Was she late? If she was, she hoped that he would have waited for her. But he would have, yes?

The Fina was dressed simply, as she had tended to lately. She had quite dark, blue jeans on, that flared ever so slightly at the bottom. They were a little to long for her - which was odd, as being a pretty tall girl, most of her trousers fit her in the leg but were too big in the waist - and almost completely covered her blue and white trainers, which were her choice of shoe for the day. She had a light, sky shade of blue coloured, fitted shirt on her top half, which was unbuttoned a little at the top and one button at the very bottom. Over the top of that, she had a navy blue jacket which was unbuttoned completely. Her blonde hair was loose, as usual, and was left in very slight curls and waves. She wasn't too bothered about it, anymore, and didn't straighten it. She just... didn't seem to care.

Quickening her steady pace into a run, Emerald smiled softly when she saw the waterfall come into view. She loved this place. It was beautiful, one of her favourite places in the school's many grounds, and it had helped her meet many awesome friends. One that was definitely included in there was Matt. They had had some fun in those waters, when it had been in slightly warmer months. Seeing Matt, she slowed a little, having found out, now, that he was there, and walked, breathing slightly more quickly than she had been before, up behind the Intermise male that she cared about so much.

Gently touching his shoulder, she quietly said, "Hey, Mattie." She smiled, and moved around him a little, so that she could see his face. As she should, the girl asked, "Are you alright?"

[Matthew Jerrolds]

Matt stared at the water, his blue eyes today a little different. Instead of their usual darker color, they seemed brighter. Things were... hard lately, but there was a happiness that kept him going. Emerald. She was the only thing that kept him grounded. Were it not for her, well... He wouldn't be as well off as he was... His hand came up to brush his hair out of his eyes, and their startling color was revealed even more. They were very much blue today, even more so than usual. For today, they looked like the color of the ocean in all those resort pictures and such. Not the icy blue color, but the deep rich blue that came from more aerial views. They were simply gorgeous, their bright color striking against his features today. Obviously, he wouldn't know this, but any girl in their right mind would simply melt at the sight.

He let out a small groan. His arm was out of the sling finally, but he was still in pain from time to time. His head pounded a lot, but mostly... Well, it was his heart. It ached so much, because all he could think about was that he could have done something... He could have saved his friends the pain. Poor Cove... He was still having some problems, mostly with his head. He got lightheaded a lot and often times simply had to hold onto someone nearby to keep from falling. He had blacked out a lot, too. Matt was worried about the small Fina. Of course, he had other reasons to worry as well. He had heard all about the things going on... It seemed that Cove had found himself in the middle of a large love circle. Man, it was all over school. He just hoped the poor boy was able to cope okay and get through it.

As for Jon, well, that was still a sensitive subject, and one he tried to avoid unless he was with Emerald, even though he rarely even spoke to her about him. Jon was like his brother. He had come to mean so much to him... He had a new family now. Jon, Faith, Adam, Cove, Aimee, Cal... But he was going to make that family grow. Well, he hoped so. For the first time since the thought struck him, the Intermise felt the butterflies once more. He was nervous. Matthew Jerrolds was nervous. I mean, it could be understandable, but it was so strange for him. His hand closed around something small in his pocket, and he held it in his hand, feeling its small weight against his fingers. It was so small, but it changed so much. It was actually scary...

He pulled it out, looking at it. His eyes traced its shape, and a small smile found its way onto his face as it twisted his lips upwards in a pleasant smile. He wondered what her reaction would be. Would she be shocked? Would she be disgusted? I mean, what if she wasn't ready? It wouldn't work if he was and she wasn't... And he wasn't going to push her. With a sigh, he replaced it in his pocket, knowing that now was not the time. He bit his lip lightly, thinking about his plan. He was going to take her out on Valentine's Day. Come on, she deserved it. She really did. After everything she had been through, she deserved a heck of a lot more than anyone could give her. She deserved the world -- or at least all the good in it -- not just chocolate or whatever.

He then heard a voice, and he breathed a sigh of relief. She had come just after he had made it disappear. Thank God. He looked down at the Fina girl -- correction, his Fina girl, and smiled at her. He leaned down pressing his lips to hers in a silent reply, leaving it short and sweet. He then pulled back a little before his hands slipped from his pockets to instead wrap around her waist and pull her close, feeling her body now resting against his. He then proceeded to whisper,"I am now that you're here." He then lowered his head slowly, looking into her eyes for a brief second before his own slipped closed, covering those startling blue eyes as his lips found her own. He was gentle, but this kiss was better than the first. It wasn't as conservative, and it was more like the kiss of lovers. It was deep and passionate, filled with all the love and care he held for her. And contrary to popular belief, he was not thinking about having sex with her right now. That was for later, when she was ready. Right now, he wanted Emerald. The person. Not the sex. That was just the bonus.

Matt then pulled away after a little bit and looked at her, his blue eyes trying to find her gorgeous green ones. A small smile lifted his lips before he whispered,"You look beautiful." And he meant it. She did. Even when she didn't try, she looked stunning. With just one look, she made him weak in the knees. He wasn't sure if she realized the power she had over him. "You know, I don't think you know just what you do to me..." It was whispered, his voice soft, but it held such emotion that it sounded beautiful, just from all the emotion those words held. "Just seeing you makes me feel so lucky and honored... With just one look, you can make me weak. I feel so powerless when I'm with you, but at the same time I feel as if I could do anything at all..."

He gently brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "You are amazing. When I'm not with you, it feels as if you're right there with me, whispering to me and just holding me. In your arms, I feel as though nothing in the world could ever compare, and when I hold you in my arms, I feel as though I am holding the entire world and all the heavens in my arms... I will never let you go, because to let you go would mean I would have to rip out a part of me to do so. I'm not leaving you. Ever. And that I will promise you, because you mean so much to me. I would cross the entire world to get to you. The oceans, the mountains, the deserts... Nothing would stop me..." He kissed her lips. "Emerald... You complete me... You fill that void that... that nothing else could -- not alcohol, not sex, nothing... Only you."


((Finished. ^^ 'Tis shorter and crappier, but it's here. DEAL WITH IT. xD))

[Charlotte Darcy]

Emerald wasn’t completely and totally aware of this huge impact that she seemed to be having on Matt’s life, but she had some idea. After all, she was - at least, this she assumed, by the image she had gained from Matt when they were just best friends - one of the only girls he had ever told he loved- maybe even the only.

And she, if she could admit this slightly embarrassing fact, would have been one of the girls to melt at those eyes. Hell, when they had been mates she had often been able to keep him out of her head, and she kept thinking about those eyes, those eyes… It had only dawned on her since they got together officially how much she had liked even back then, when all they did was harmless flirting and nothing else. But things were different now… Emerald wasn’t as innocent anymore. Not at all.

On the subject of pain, though, it was good that Mattie’s arm was out of it’s sling now. At least that part of him was healing, and it was sure better than nothing. Even if his thoughts and his heart were still hurting, they’d recover just as, hopefully, his friends would, and everything would be better. At times like this, all one could hope for and expect was for things to get better because, damn it, they couldn’t get any bloody worse.

Emerald smiled softly when she was kissed softly and quickly and then pulled closer, and snuggled her head against Mattie’s chest. He moved away slightly, though, after a few seconds, and so did Emerald, now finding herself lost in his eyes, and all the emotions that drifted around them. Matt was just… so interesting. The Fina found herself absolutely fascinated by him, more so than any other person she had ever met, especially about the sides of his personality that he was showing now. They were totally new to her- and probably anyone standing by who knew Matt how he was before.

She nodded and smiled gratefully at his sweet, kind words. Then she found herself being kissed once more, thinking in the back of her mind that it was amazing how all the troubles and bad things from her thoughts just melted away when he kissed her, or hugged her, or touched her just to pull her near. She kissed him back rather hungrily, surprising herself a little, and slid her tongue forward so that it brushed against his own.

Matt eventually pulled away, and Emerald felt her breath coming much faster, in little puffs of air. She seemed to find herself like this almost every time he kissed her and then pulled away, and it certainly wasn’t a bad way to feel. Shaking her head but smiling in quiet disagreement to what he said, she murmured, “No I don’t.” She laughed gently. “I’m sick, and I look messy.” She shook her head again. “That’s not beautiful.” And she did feel a little sick, and thought she was coming down with a bit of a cold. Great; that was just what she needed.

At his next words, Emerald laughed softly once more. “What I do to you?” She smiled. “I can imagine, to some degree.” He went on to tell her anyway, and she listened, interested again. Her smile grew so that it was almost one of her old grins. When he paused for breath, she said in a voice that came out more seductive than anything else, “A look? How about…” She looked him in the eyes, moving closer, and then her eyes flickered down suggestively to his lips. “This look?” Then, she brushed her lips against his, her eyes fluttering closed.

She was surprising herself a lot today… it must be Matt’s good influence.

He brushed her hair back, and she felt herself immediately move her head against his hand slightly, and shiver. As she listened to his words, she felt her eyes prickle with tears a little, and she murmured, “Thank you so much…” Before he kissed her again, and went on.

{Adurrhurhurr, Emerald’s eyes are blue. xDD}

[Matthew Jerrolds]

Matt looked at Emerald. "I beg to differ. You look completely stunning, Em. And I'm not just saying that..." His words were soft and gentle, but they were firm, holding the truth that he really meant what he said. His eyes locked on her own and the complete honesty truly just sang, shining from his eyes like a bright lighthouse on an ocean coast. He smiled at her and whispered,"You are gorgeous. No matter what you wear... or don't." A flicker of amusement entered his tone at the last words. "You are always beautiful, sweetheart. Always." She had to understand this. Because if she didn't, well, he wasn't going to let her go until she did. Because she was completely beautiful -- inside and out -- every second of every day.

He laughed and said,"I didn't mean it in that way. In fact, that hadn't even crossed my mind..." He smiled at her and said,"Though if you are suggesting something..." He grinned, kissing her nose cutely before pulling back. Then she was speaking, and what the heck was going on? Was Charlotte Darcy being seductive? "You do realize that you don't have to..." His words were cut off as her lips brushed across his own. Her murmered the rest of the sentence once she had pulled away. "... try that hard... To get my attention, I mean." He grinned at her, brushing his lips across hers again. His lips traced over to her cheek, hovering a hair's breadth above her skin before he moved down her neck a bit.

He paused at the base of her neck, his lips briefly touching before they came back to seek her lips. They found them, and he kissed her gently once more. This time, though, there was a need there... He needed her. It wasn't a want, it was a need. He couldn't survive without Emerald. Period. His eyes, closed and hidden behind thick, dark eyelashes, flickered as he pulled away. They didn't open just yet, and his lashes remained fanned out on his cheeks before his eyes slid open, revealing the blue depths as he just smiled at her, a dazed look making his eyes a little hazy. He just held her close to him and stood there, breathing. Thoughts didn't matter right now... Well, was he even capable of thought right now? He doubted it...

Then her eyes had brimmed with tears after he had finished his little speech, and he smiled at her, kissing her forehead. "You are so very welcome, Emerald... Because it's the truth." He smiled at her, but soon his smile faded a little. He had to tell her. He pulled her closer to him, leaning his head against hers. He stared at the waterfall, his eyes barely registering it. He was remembering... It struck him now what he had done. He had just moved out of his parents' house. He blinked, his mouth parting a little. Oh man... He hadn't really thought about it, but he had just moved out... And he couldn't go back now. Not even if he wanted to. They were finished with him. He was no longer a part of their family...

He swallowed and pulled back a bit. "Emerald?" He paused and smiled, saying,"There are some things I should tell you... A lot has happened. You should know about them..." He took her hand and led her over to a blanket he had laid out on the ground and pulled her down to sit beside him as he sat. He then wrapped his arms around her and held her. "Remember... when Natalie died?" His voice was hesitant. It still hurt, but he was getting better. "Well... My mom and stepdad found out, and..." He swallowed, taking a deep breath. "They sent me an owl." His voice was a little hollow now, not really expressing any emotion. Or perhaps it was more that his voice was so full of emotion he seemed almost emotionless? Who knew. Even he didn't...

"Basically, they kicked me out. They want nothing to do with me anymore. So... I moved out." He paused, waiting for her reaction. After a minute, he continued. "I... bought a little place in town. It's small, but it would work... I had to think about when I graduated, you know? And..." Here was the hard part. He wanted to ask her so many things, but he didn't know where to start. But... He was going to start here. "Emerald, when we graduate... Would you like to move in with me?" He didn't look at her yet. He was so afraid she would think he was moving too fast... "I understand if you don't want to... I mean, if you did, you could have your own room and bathroom... But it's too big for one person, and I hate living alone, so I thought..." He trailed off, falling into silence.

What the heck was Matthew Jerrolds thinking asking her that this soon? Oh, right. He wasn't.


((Weird, lame tag, Katie Potatie. xP))

[Charlotte Darcy]

Emerald crossed her arms, looking up at him in a sort of playful defiance. She was sorry, but she was not going to believe that she was as beautiful as he said she was. It wasn’t that she thought she was ugly, just… it seemed hard for girls - especially ones that weren‘t as overly confident, such as she - to accept that they were over average in the looks department. Or, well… perhaps that was just how she felt, then. Whatever; she just had troubled thinking she was pretty. That was it. She was… plain? Something like that.

“Alright,” she said eventually, still not totally believing it. Her own eyes sparkled though, glad and grateful for his little compliments all the same. He pleased her with the small things he said, like these. Emerald laughed at what he said next, the last couple of words - ‘or don’t’ - especially. “That sounds a little suggestive, Mister Jerrolds, but thanks all the same.” She smiled. “Thank you. And you’re always handsome, Mattie. All the time.” Kissing him lightly on the cheek, she grinned again. He made her happy, he really, really did.

Emerald laughed with him then, and snorted, “Yeah right; sure you didn‘t.” Though she believed him really; it was just pretty fun to tease, even in the current circumstances, bad that they were. “Me? Suggesting something?” She grinned once more. “Why, that’s your job, I do believe.” They kissed, and then when his lips brushed over her cheek, she replied playfully, “I know, but it’s fun to try a little more anyway… Or else it would just get boring for me.” She smiled softly when Matt’s lips lingered at the base of her neck, and then almost choked on a held breath when he kissed her on the lips again. She kissed him back, arms sliding up around his neck, before he pulled away again. Then he held her close, and her arms slid down again to just allow her hands to rest on his chest.

She got kissed on the forehead, and smiled again, mirroring his own smile. Lifting her head again, she felt his against it, and looked up. Matt’s smile had faded quite a bit, and he blinked, seeming to be about to say something quite important. Emerald quietened a little, to let him say what he was apparently going to.

Emerald nodded and smiled reassuringly when he said her name, and followed him over to the blanket on the ground, upon which she sat beside him, only to be pulled close once more. He really didn’t seem to want to let her out of his arms whenever they were around together, and it was really sweet, in Emerald’s opinion. Matt mentioned his step-sister - it was his step-sister, right, as Emerald wasn’t too sure - and she looked up a little, gently stroking his cheek with one hand. It must be hard for him, she thought. She nodded slowly when he mentioned this letter, wondering where this was going. What had been in the letter?

She soon found out, at what Matt said next, and it disgusted her. How could you kick out your own son, for something that wasn’t even his damn fault? It angered her that they had done this to Matt. Her Mattie. How dare they try and hurt him like that; it wasn’t fair. Emerald shook her head; they shouldn’t have done that. She didn’t understand how they could do that, to someone who was their own flesh and blood- at least, she couldn’t believe his mother… Emerald smiled gently upon hearing that he had bought his own house, and nodded along slowly. She was glad that he was sorting things out for later, and then at least he wouldn’t have to worry about that.

Matt should have had no worries about what Emerald was going to say; she seemed positively excited at what he said next. In fact she was moving in with Matt, the one she loved, was the best idea that she had ever heard right about then, and she nodded quickly. She could almost sense his… his what? Apprehensiveness? Fear? Well, whatever it was, she noticed it, mostly by the fact that he wasn’t making eye contact with her.

Gently turning his face back towards her, Emerald looked into his blue eyes and then softly kissed him on the lips, and, as if it were the most obvious thing in the whole wide world, said in an amused tone, “Of course I’ll move in with you.” She raised an eyebrow after that, though, and added, “And, what? Do you not want me in your room, or something? Otherwise, there‘s no way I‘d feel like sleeping on my own when I could easily be with you.” She smiled, thinking about it a little. Well, Mattie had said that she could have her own bedroom, had he not? God knows why he had thought that she would want one, though.

{Lame tag from me. xP}