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Post by Serphius de la Ravin on Dec 21, 2006 17:01:44 GMT -5
"I won't say a-anything," Serphius hiccuped, his full bottom lip trembling dangerously. He made a little noise accidentally in the back of his throat when he felt Cove's lips on his head. A shiver went down his spine, and it was nothing to do with the temperature. Did he know how teasing that was? Did he know that was the last thing he fell asleep to and the first thing he woke up to ever day for the last couple of years? And did he know how much he was tempted to kiss him right back? God, he missed Alexys.
Shut up brain. No more drink for you.
He slipped his arm round Cove's waist, so they were almost cuddling. If he couldn't hug the little Intermise, he'd more than happily hold the delightful Fina. He didn't feel any warmer, but just to have someone there again had a wonderful soothing affect on him. Serphius blinked hard at Cameron, to see what Cove's typically kind words got from him.
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Post by Cameron Laurier on Dec 21, 2006 20:15:45 GMT -5
Cam watched the two older boys, his eyes as wide as saucers, as they reassured each other. 'There isn't any of that in your life...stop wishing for it...you dont want it.' Infamous words uttered by his own brother a day before death, they gently whispered in Cam's mind, and he simply stared blankly ahead. He still heard Cove's speech, and he nearly didn't acknowledge it. His mouth was set in a straight line, and the young boy nodded his head. He had accepted the two, it was a funny thing how Cam's mind worked. He didn't trust people, but for now...he accepted Cove and Serphius' presence. The muscles in his long thin back relaxed, as his arms wrapped around his knees, it was as nervous and panic stricken as it was before. His hands were loose, and his chin rested atop his arms.
As long as they keep the cuddling to themselves...im good. He tilted his head, so that his cheek rested on his forearm, and his grey eyes stared silently up at the two, their misty depths filled with a slight admireation but still gaurded in the inner most circle...was his curiosity and want. It was a comfortable silence for him, spoke more then words...after all, Cam isn't one for words spoken.
O.o.c/// Tres bien at getting those responses out guys! *feels as content as Cam* [/color]
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Post by Cove Bentley on Dec 22, 2006 11:17:33 GMT -5
A shiver went down Serphius, and he felt it slightly. He had no idea what it was about, but he just assumed it was the temperature. He then felt the younger Intermise's arm wrap around his waist, and a small smile lifted the corners of his lips. At least he was making some progress on that front, especially since Serphius seemed a little more relaxed now. His attention then turned to the other boy, and he noted that he was now a little more relaxed, and had seemed to accept them. Well, it was a start. He knew, however, that the guarded expression was one he himself had possessed a few years back. He nearly shuddered, but he kept it at bay.
He then spoke up, looking to Cam this time. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Cameron. I'm Cove Bentley..." He paused, thinking for a moment. It was as if he wanted to say something else, but he couldn't find the words for it. "I know you may not trust us, but if you ever need a friend or just someone to talk to, I'm here." Might as well throw that out there, because it was true. He would be there for any who needed help or just someone to talk to. He then looked at Serphius and smiled again, speaking to him this time. "I bet you'd be there for him, too, huh, Serphius?" Well, today had certainly been interesting, by far...
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Post by Serphius de la Ravin on Dec 22, 2006 12:27:44 GMT -5
"How can I be there for him..." Serphius coaxed the words from numbed lips, "When I can't even be there for myself? You can't ask me to do that! You can't...can't expect that from me..."
Of course, he wanted to be there for the youngest boy - he was certain he knew what the boy was going through - but he also knew it took a certain sort of person to do that. Serphius shut his eyes again. He was not that person. He didn't want to look at Cam anymore, though he was mildly happy that he was looking better after his funny turn. It made him think of things he'd long since forgotten - or tried to. It made him think, for the first time in a long time, of his father.
"I hope you're rotting in fucking hell..." he whispered to no one in particular, once more hiding his face in Cove's firm shoulder, trying not to get any tears or smudged eyeliner on his clothes. Serphius bit down softly on his bottom lip, and sighed most unhappily. He was calming down a little, the borderline hysterics seeping away, leaving him utterly drained, and feeling curiously empty. He was certain if he knocked his chest, it would sound as hollow as a drum. His hands shook as he clutched Cove helplessly. In fact, he was shaking weakly all over.
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Post by Cameron Laurier on Dec 24, 2006 13:55:12 GMT -5
Cam felt a tingle on the back of his neck, as if someone was watching him...he glanced around behind him with a curious look. Then turned back around, before quickley whipping his head aroung again to try and catch a sign of movement. Huh.... His black lined eyes squinted for a moment, before he looked up at the older boys to catch the end of the little conversation. "I don't." He said to Serphius, with a rather sober look to his eyes, no...blank. Then he really did feel something watching him, along with breathing down his neck. The fourteen year old pretty much jumped forward and scrambled to sit at Serphius' and Cove's legs, his eyes wide as saucers. The fabric of Cove's pants touching the back of his shirt, he then sent a rather resentful glare at a short girl with a smirk that could rival Voldemorts.
Phoenix! She's out!, none of this showed on the outside of him, but the girl with the bright red hair walked up to the boys and grabbed Cam's arm by the sleeve and tugged him up to his feet. Now he could really feel how much he had grown, since he was almost a head taller then the girl who was known for pushing him around like a minion. She sent a quizical gaze at the two, one obviously drunk, while the other looked too happy. She wrinkled her slender nose, "Right...and why did you fall in with this bunch..and when?" She said to Cam, although still looking at the two boys with a slight disgust. She didn't wait for an answer, thinking Cam wouldn't give one, and tugged him away by his shirt sleeve. His mouth partly open as if about to talk, as he let her drag him off.
He glanced behind him with a doleful gaze, and raised one of his slender hands in a half wave, then turned back to give Phoenix a shy smile as they (her stomping) rounded the corner out of sight. [/color]
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Post by Cove Bentley on Dec 25, 2006 12:07:28 GMT -5
Cove mentally sighed. Serphius, he decided, needed some good cheer in his life. I mean, Cove knew what it was like to have parents -- if you could even call them that -- who didn't care about you. His father had beat him, and his mother hated him. His aunt was killed by Death Eaters, the only person who had cared about him. His only source of comfort had been his stepfather and stepbrother. His stepbrother had left, and his stepfather hadn't been able to protect him from his own father. He was defenseless, and his stepfather -- ah, heck, he was his father -- was powerless. He could do nothing because he had no proof of what was happening, and Cove had been too scared and weak back then to do any-freaking-thing.
His face darkened at the memories. To this day he carried scars from his father's actions, and he kept most of them hidden. However, the most notable were the emotional scars left. Perhaps this was why he had ended up this way, so blissfully optimistic until it was sad. Perhaps it was to hide his own doubts and fears, his own demons. A shiver went down his spine, and he suddenly wanted to be alone. Oh no. He was having one of his moments again... He experienced these random bouts of depression, usually spurred by memories of his dear ol' dad. Today, it seemed, he was due another one. He hadn't experienced one in a while, and so he had hoped that it had passed for good. But sadly, it hadn't.
However, he forced a false smile on his face, though it did not quite reach his eyes. Serphius had spoken, but he could hardly hear him, and soon he was hiding his face in Cove's shoulder and clinging to him. He looked at Cam, seeing a girl come and drag him off. His eyes widened ever-so-slightly, and as the boy disappeared, he gave a small wave to him. He then looked down at Serphius, wondering what had gotten into him. "Serphius? Are... Are you okay?" His voice was quieter than usual, and instead of sounding a little happy, it sounded more bland. It was strange, really, and it didn't even sound like his voice to himself. He looked away, off into the distance. Life, it seemed, just didn't want to give him a break, huh?
((Weird post... o.O But chyeah. REPLIED. =D))
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Post by Serphius de la Ravin on Dec 25, 2006 12:43:17 GMT -5
Serphius still had his face hidden when Pheonix appeared from nowhere, apparently. He looked round when he heard the sudden voice, and gave an abrupt little cry of objection when she dragged Cameron away, looking rather angry. He scowled at her, with her fiery hair, and her annoying....stuck-y upness. As though she was better than him and Cove. He nodded a farewell in Cam's direction, and looked back at the older boy.
"She stole our shadow boy..." he said, and quickly realized how stupid he sounded, and he knew how stupid he probably looked too...no, not stupid - pathetic. He quickly moved away from Cove, instead of practically draping himself over the poor boy, though he kept his hands on his shoulders, holding him about arms length. He squinted at the Fina boy. He looked a little off, and he sounded it too.
"Doesn't matter," he said, clenching his jaw. He'd seen the way that red head had looked at him. He needed to pull himself together, or at least just get the hell out of everyone's way....though to be fair, that's what he'd been trying to do by coming to the most distant and secluded part of the garden. Serphius let his arms drop, sliding his hands of Cove's shoulders, "It doesn't matter anymore..."
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Post by Cove Bentley on Dec 25, 2006 14:10:06 GMT -5
He couldn't help a small smile curving the corners of his lips when Serphius said she'd stolen their shadow boy. It was quick to pass, though, and soon Serphius had retreated slightly. He was now holding Cove at arm's length, and Cove just looked at him. He then said it didn't matter, dropped his arms from Cove's shoulders, and repeated it. He resisted the urge to smack the boy. It did matter! Instead, he took a deep breath and looked at him, his guard slipping a little. His eyes showed the mix of emotions: grief, fear, worry, confused, and even tired. Instead of his usually bubbly nature, he just looked so defeated now. Exhausted was a word for it.
He looked away again, looking off into the distance. "It does matter, Serphius..." It was whispered, but it was loud enough for the Intermise to hear. "It does fucking matter, understand?" He looked at him, his gaze steely. His breathing had increased a little as memories flashed before his eyes. No. He would not hear those words again... Those were the same words that had come from his mouth every time after his father beat him. Hearing them was like a knife in his heart, and every physical scar left by the bastard felt as if it were on fire. He finally spoke, his voice thick with the pain that plagued him. "I don't want to hear you say that again, Serphius. You matter, so it does fucking matter." He looked down, his eyes sliding closed as he fought the urge to curl into a ball and just cry. Or scream. Either one would do just fine...
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Post by Serphius de la Ravin on Dec 25, 2006 15:34:02 GMT -5
Serphius actually physically recoiled when Cove spoke such unexpected words. It wasn't just that, but the look it his usual happy, tranquil sea grey eyes really quite scared him. It was the look of a very mixed up boy. It was chaos.
"Don't talk like that!" he said, his hands balling into fists, "Don't say things like that!"
Cove wasn't meant to be like that, he told himself, not happy Cove. Not kind, lovable, god damned sweet Cove, in all his smiley glory. He moved away a little more, and drew his bony knees to his chest, hugging them there. He watched his friend with confused and apologetic eyes. The sudden quiet outburst from his fiend had been like a mental slap in the face. He didn't feel so groggy any more, or leaden-limbed.
Selfish, selfish him. He should have seen it coming. Something was wrong, and of course, he was so wrapped up in his own perfect little tragedy that he hadn't noticed. Serphius chewed his lip, and moved closer a little again. Would he appreciate a hug?
"You matter too," he said, his voice a hoarse whisper. He kept his gaze locked to the floor, "You matter more. Everyone n-needs you...you matter more."
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Post by Cove Bentley on Dec 25, 2006 23:38:51 GMT -5
Despite his efforts, a tear slid down his cheek, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. They were like a stormy sea now, churning and crashing with waves of violent emotions. He tried to block it all out, but it just wouldn't leave. It just... It couldn't leave. He wiped the tear away, feeling his eyeliner smudge a little. He took a deep, shaky breath, wiping away most of the smudge without even bothering to look. He then allowed his eyes to slide open as Serphius spoke. The boy drew away from him, and Cove felt something inside him crack. That hurt him more than anything, and he suddenly felt just exhausted beyond belief. He didn't look up at the boy again, instead gazing down at the floor as he drew his own knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He rested his head on his arms, looking away from Serphius.
He couldn't see him like that... He had scared his friend. What kind of person did that? No. What kind of monster did that? He squeezed his eyes shut again, willing himself to get over this. He had to... It was just... It was wrong. He needed to move past all of this crap, but how? Was it even possible? He wasn't sure anymore. He heard another movement, and he noticed the Intermise had moved a little closer. He just looked at him, his eyes empty of emotion now. He wouldn't even look at him, and Cove had to force himself to swallow his tears. "No, Serphius..." His voice was closer to normal now, though it wasn't full of happiness this time. "You matter just as much, if not more. You hold us all together... Without you, we would all just fall apart." It was true. There would be separate groups if he was gone... He was the link that held them together.
He then fell silent, letting his thoughts disappear as best he could. He recited songs in his head to clear his mind of any other thoughts, and it eventually worked. He was calmer now, and though he wasn't smiling and his eyes weren't full of happiness, they were better now. Instead of a raging sea, they were but a calm lake. He looked at his friend, struggling to thread together an explanation of what had just happened. At last he spoke, his voice quiet and a little fragile. Bringing up these things... They tended to do that to you. "I'm sorry, Serphius... I..." He looked away for a moment before looking back. "I have these... random bouts of depression on occasion... And... That's what happened." It was finished lamely, but there he had it. That was his explanation. He wasn't going to sit here and tell his sob-story, unless Serphius wanted to know, of course. Then he would tell him, but he would leave out most of the details... They... They weren't needed.
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Post by Serphius de la Ravin on Dec 27, 2006 16:54:54 GMT -5
Serphius's pale face looked a little strained, and he opened his mouth to object - but shut it again, letting his words die on his lips. It wouldn't do anyone any favours to argue. He knew the only person he matter to was Lexi, and he also faced the truth that he was only needed in that relationship so the selfish boy would not get lonely. He knew that the desperate smothering need he felt was purely one sided. It was ridiculous to pay heed to the notion that he was terribly important to anyone else, never mind the whole gaggle of acquaintances he'd somehow miraculously managed to gather.
"You don't have to explain," he murmured, moving back to his original position. Tentatively, he slid his arms around Cove, and gave him what he hoped was a tender hug, "If anyone around here understand, it would be me..."
So was that why Cove always seemed so happy-happy? Flash flood depression? He hadn't been expecting that one, thought he guessed it would explain the odd behavior he'd just witnessed. It was still scary to him. He'd never been the comforter - he'd always been the comfortee. He hoped he was doing it right.
"You don't need to say sorry to me, not ever," Serphius whispered softly in Cove's ear, "And you don't have to keep your feelings hidden. You give what you get. I'll be here for you."
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